hope for me yet

officially done.

I’ve been off Accutane since the end of November, but I took my last blood test on Monday and headed to the dermatologist today to officially close the book on all this. Nothing of note to report. I’m happy, the doctor is happy, and hopefully we stay happy. 

Just some minor hyperpigmentation left, really. I still break out from time to time, but very minimally and only around my period. My skin is not dry anymore; it’s returned to its oily state. All in all, these are insignificant grievances compared to the everyday nightmares I used to be living.

I don’t really have a set skin care routine these days. It varies depending on how I feel my skin is reacting. In the past, my skin has always seemed to develop a tolerance for whatever products I’d been using, so I switch it up whenever I feel like I need to. Aveeno’s pore purifying facial wash is a staple, but the most off-the-wall thing I have in my arsenal is raw African black soap. You can look it up, but it has a lot of benefits, and I think it has helped with my overall complexion. Other times, I break out either the St. Ive’s apricot scrub or the Oxy benzoyal peroxide facial wash. Some nights I use a 50/50 mix of apple cider vinegar and water as a toner. Otherwise, I just moisturize with Clean & Clear’s dual action moisturizer. If I’m really getting all acne-ish, I’ll use Neutrogena’s on the spot treatment or Clearasil’s daily clear, depending on which one I can find first, honestly. haha. 

So, I’ll probably pop back in periodically for more post-Accutane updates. See ya then.

Anonymous asked: you look beautiful :) congrats on making through it a hard, but rewarding journey! i hope to make it on the other side as well as you have :D

Thanks!! Best of luck to you! :)

chitken asked: i'm so so so so happy for you! :) congratulations!

Thank you so much!! Also, this is random, but I love your tumblr and have to force myself to refrain from reblogging every single one of your posts. :)

2 weeks since my last pill

I didn’t post last week because I was busy (not) working on my thesis, babysitting, finishing up Christmas shopping, and all that jazz. Also, I was on my period, which I’m gonna assume is why I had 3 actives, but they’re gone now. I guess that’s something that will never go away? Anyways, life post-accutane is pretty sweet. 

I still have a slight rash on my hands, my lips still feel like they need chapstick more often than not, but when I look at pictures from May/June, I’m amazed at my progress. 

I have no idea if this is related or not, but I’m now having SO MUCH trouble sleeping. It’s not too big of a pain right now, because I can still take naps since I don’t have a 9-5 job or anything, but still… I’m just constantly waking up throughout the night and not sleeping through it. But come to think of it, this was my life pre-accutane so maybe I just have a sleeping problem in general. Time for some melatonin pills, maybe? Sigh.

So, to sum up my experience… 

Pros

• not embarrassed about my face anymore.
• no makeup? no problem.
• yes to makeup? then my face looks fairly flawless.
• sleep = awesome.
• ++++++self-confidence.

Cons

• monthly blood tests/doctor’s visits.
• being on the pill and gaining weight.
• living through the dry skin/lips/various annoying side effects.
• the 22.3 seconds it took for me to get a pill out of that damn packaging.
• the fact that it gets worse before it gets better.

But it gets better! :)

Week 24

Ok, so that minor stuff I wrote about last week turned into way-more-than-minor stuff, but things are on the upswing now. Not really sure why I broke out; nothing in my routine changed, nor is it that time of the month or anything yet. 

I’m on my last pack, just 4 more pills left! Insane. It’s hard to imagine life without those little orange guys, but I won’t be sad to see them go.

Anonymous asked: thanks so much for sharing your progress, it gives me so much hope. I'm starting in January and I'm so anxious but results like yours make me realize it's worth it. :) You look so great!!! Congrats

Thanks! Here’s hoping for a good experience for you! :)

Week 23

This week I had some minor stuff pop up, not really sure why, but I think I’ll just table it for a week and see where I am for the next post. Otherwise, all of my annoying symptoms from last week have lessened or subsided, and things more or less remain the same. So I don’t really have too much to say.

Until next time.

Weeks 21-22

It’s good to be back in the saddle, so to speak. After a week off, I had some symptoms pop up in unusual intensity: more dryness in the face, rash on my hands, etc etc. But I don’t really mind too much, because I feel like there’s been some improvement made overall.

It seems like a lot of my hyperpigmentation has gone away…

It’s coming down to the end, here. I have 36 pills left, which translates to about 2.5 weeks. Crazyyy.

Week 20

aka Hell Week. So… After finishing my first clinical, a babysitting job kinda fell into my lap. It pays, and it’s not retail, so of course I took it. It doesn’t hurt that I get to spend time with the most adorable, agreeable baby on the planet. In the universe, even. But I guess it also means I’m exposed to more germs, or something? Baby got his first cold, and passed it on to me (see last week). Then the parents got some sort of stomach virus thing, starting with the dad last week, passing onto the mom over the weekend and into Monday, and hitting me on Tuesday. 

This thing was brutal. I have never thrown up so much in my life. I couldn’t even keep water down. At one point, I probably should’ve gone to the hospital, but I was too far gone to care. I just wanted to be put out of my misery.

Obviously, I wasn’t eating, I wasn’t taking pills, I was pretty much just confined to my bed, curled up in the fetal position wondering if I would ever see the light of day again. I may sound like I’m exaggerating, but I’m being completely serious. Also, I think I deserve a trophy for surviving this ordeal. Someone get on that.

Let’s forget this week ever happened, please… Here we go, week 21!